The "In the Bag" Tweetbag!

Some late night, beer-induced questions, answered

Jeremy White
November 03, 2018 - 10:34 am

Photo: Jeff Curry - USA TODAY Sports

I’m trying to give the Tweetbag! a theme each time out to, perhaps, freshen things up and get some good questions and answers rolling. Last week was the Bar Argument edition, and that feels like something we’ll have to revisit sometime down the line.

This week, I asked you to tweet me your questions ONLY if you’d had a couple of drinks. So… here it is…

The "IN THE BAG" TWEETBAG!

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We start off with questions about BEER, obviously:

I don’t have an answer for this because… I don’t know what the limit is. A few years back, I went to a local establishment that sells fine beers. One might say it’s a place where a merchant of beer sells his wares in a village. Anyway, I walk in looking for a good stout. My good merchant points me to a very rare Vietnamese Coffee Stout that he claims is quite rare.

I remember hearing something like, “Only two kegs in the entire state.”

Well I’m sold. So without asking any questions, I order up a growler of it. As the total comes, my bill is… $48.

In my head, I do a spit take. There’s an explosion inside my brain that I don’t allow to become an external reaction. I think “Ain’t no way in HELL I’m paying $48 for a growler of this beer, I came here looking to spend about $8-$10 on a good stout. Take this motor oil and send it back from whence it came!”

What I say though is, “OK”.

And I buy it. And I spill some of it at home as I pour it. Probably about $11 worth. I poured $11 on to the counter accidentally, but that beer was damn good.

Follow up? I’ve DEFINITELY spent… more than $20 on a single beer at some point.  

***

Beer-alytics:

There’s probably some internet study about this somewhere out there but I’d bet every dollar I have that the answer is… a winning team. You turn off a losing team. You check out. Sure you might drink beer to try to entertain yourself but in reality, the drunken love you feel for a winning team goes down well with a couple of cold ones.

Winning team = More games. Night games.  

Losing team = Staying home. Apple picking.

***

True college story:

When I was a junior at Syracuse, I was part of the greatest three-man flip cup team to walk this Earth. Tark, Shamus, and I dominated. In a full calendar, year we lost ONE time.

Did we have a “process”?

(loads up some snark)

Well yeah, I guess.

We had what amounts to a pre-shot routine. Shamus would say that whole “kick ass and chew bubble gum” thing before EVERY round… and I would turn to Talk and say “More shocking than ______ “ and then insert some reference that didn’t even have to make sense but somehow did.

We were idiots. We had a process. We won all the time. Now when I play flip cup, I imagine it’s what Bill Russell feels like when he walks on to a basketball court to shoot around.

***

More BEER questions:

We’re not giving up beer. Sorry, but it’s not happening. Yes, of course I would love for the Bills to win a Super Bowl, but do you really think we’re about to transition to a cider or wine cooler town?

Wine is different. Wine has its place, but we’re not about to start drinking wine at tailgates.  

Here’s a good way to think about it… remember how much we all wanted the Bills to end the drought and make the playoffs? And yes that was fun, right? But what’s that feel like now? We remember it as a fun memory, and our present situation is… less than fun.

Winning the Super Bowl and giving up beer would be the same. You might do it. If I’m making the call, I’m keeping the beer.

Besides… there’s always the Cup.

***

Wine Time:

Here are the final records the Bills could have, ranked in order of likelihood.

  1. 4-12
  2. 3-13
  3. 2-14
  4. 5-11
  5. 6-10
  6. 7-9
  7. 8-8
  8. 9-7
  9. 10-6

They’ll probably win a couple games down the stretch here. This team was sitting at 2-3, and the idea of losing 11-straight games with a defense that is competent, never mind as good as the Bills defense is, is tough to take.  

***

Speaking of the Bills:

It would absolutely be the most notable stat. It would pick up the 17-year playoff drought and slam it through a flaming table. If the Bills finish with six touchdown passes in a season, our radio station should make t-shirts to remember it.  

“I Survived The Six TD Season”

I will not consider the notion of them finishing with SIX. They’re going to get to 10. Say it with me, they’re going to get to 10.

***

Perfection:

I was young, so I wasn’t exactly thinking on any sort of insane level or logging my reactions to these four superstars but I want to say… I was never a Hogan guy.

He never did it for me in any way. I can tell you with complete awareness of my college days that I was also never a Stone Cold guy. He was there. He was fine. It was good stuff during the attitude era, but at no point was I one of those guys that geeked out for Stone Cold. Not saying I had any problem with him, just… nah. Not for me.

On these four? I loved Mr. Perfect. Maybe that’s what has always led me down the path of loving the pro athlete that knows he’s good, and isn’t afraid to say it. I love the showmen in the sports world. I loved and read all I could about Ali. I love bat flips. I loved T.O. for his entire career. And I loved Mr. Perfect.

The Warrior was great, but he didn’t exactly have much to say. If I got to step in that world, and interview one, it’d be Mr. Perfect, 100-percent.

***

BEES!!!:

Quick thing on bees… 

While we hear a lot of stories about them dying in our lifetime, how come we haven’t had tons of stories how they transitioned from stinging pollinating terrors, to total trash-raiders.

I do not remember as a child that bees dominated and ruined picnics as scavengers, nor do I remember them lording over every trash can in the country. Was this a conscious decision from the bees? They went WAY past mosquitos on the most annoying insect ranking.  

Anyway we don’t want them to die, and I get that… but here’s what I found on the whole extinction thing in a quick google search.

From Mythbusters:

A study released by Wellesley College in Massachusetts reveals that genetic diversity in honey bee colonies could greatly improve their chances of survival.  The highly promiscuous mating behavior of queens helps produce a genetic diversity resulting in reduced pathogenic bacteria and an increase in helpful, probiotic bacteria. Incidentally, this also benefits humans, as we use the probiotic bacteria in the fermentation of food.

Queens got this, apparently. We should put the women in charge, too. And since bees aren’t going to go extinct any time soon, the answer is that the Bills will make the playoffs first.  

***

Rapid Fire!

Answer: 0-percent

 

Heady Topper. And my favorite of Big Ditch’s limited edition beers, is the FIP.

 

He will be welcomed... I hope.

 

Is porn “obscene”? Point being this conversation is probably more about the word you used than the player.

 

I haven’t been to many but here’s my list…

  • Clemson
  • Syracuse (when McNabb was there and we were consistently good)
  • Ohio State 
  • Penn State (I went to a dog game in mid-afternoon in a bad year)
  • The Pinstripe Bowl

 

Over

 

One

 

Cream

 

Howard loses sleep with stress covering one football team.  By holding him back from covering them all I’m literally saving his life! 

 

And finally...

I thought HARD about this. I don't yet have an answer for you. That's not because I haven't changed my mind on anything, just that I'm trying to think of the most "significant" thing I might have changed my mind on.

 

This might be… a good theme for the next Tweetbag!

 

Cheers!

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